One more adventure on the water

Take a boat with me.
I don’t know how to steer.  No, I don’t know sails.  Fine, let’s take the oars.
But just you and me. Promise?

I’ll wear the dress I wanted to wear the first day you hugged me. 
You can wear whatever you like.  
You’ll still be the most beautiful thing to look at on the water.
I’ll leave my hair down so you can tuck it behind my ear when it gets messy.
  It’s so long now already!

Here, take an oar.  I can’t paddle forward without your help.
I don’t care what direction. 
Let’s just paddle into the water, away from the land, away from the shore.
Away from what’s sure.

Are we there yet? You ask.
There is no there, remember?
No expectation.  No destination.
But we can rest here. I like it here.
You see the shore?  Do you see the land?  Do you see the trees?
Good. Neither do I.

Let’s sit together now.
Your head leans on mine. 
I smell you.
Love me.
Love you.

Now, I wanted to say sorry.  
Because I did have expectation.
I did have a destination.
I wanted to show you.
Before we reached the shore again.
Before we stepped off.
Before they asked us where we had paddled to.
Before they told us that land was safer.

Now, I want to show you anyway.
Close your eyes.  
Not to pray.
Not to save us.
But for me to show you.

Hold my hand.
Breath in.
Breath out.
One more time.
Feel the air, the crisp fresh air over the water.
In your chest, in your stomach, filling your belly button.
Breath out.

Now I’m going to show you.
Remember your eyes?
Open them.

It’s dark.
See those things floating in the sky?
See them lighting up the night?
The fire inside of them burns for the moment.
No expectation.  Who knows where they will float to.
But we lit those damned lanterns anyway.

Can I touch your chin?
Can I feel the stubble?
I always wanted to kiss you with your beard.

Feel my dress.  It’s too dark outside to see.
Still, you can smell the color.
Mint green.

Now close your eyes.
I’ve showed you now.
Open your eyes.

You see the shore?  Do you see the land?  Do you see the trees?

Land is safer anyway.

Nothing Good Gets Away

The Golden Ticket